Are you left-eyed or right-eyed? Of course, I’m the exception that proves the rule, but every day is a miracle, isn’t it? I find that I save a lot of time in the morning by sleeping in my clothes. Yesterday, I wore my pup tent hat – it fits only two heads at a time – but it’s as cozy as a burning bungalow. If you’re not properly dressed, you can lose a lot of heat through the top of your head. That’s the reason I hope my clothes last forever, especially my electronic pants. They’ve got real curb appeal, particularly on date night, but that’s not even the half of it. Did you know that the god of machines works day and night, weekends included? Yeah, since they installed the new artificial intelligence with the randomized Satanic sub-modules, the waiting time for executions has been cut nearly in half. The Task Force on Unspeakable Acts says that’s a 50 percent improvement, but it all depends on how you look at it. It’s a pretty small sample size, if you ask me.

How much does your breakfast weigh? I mean, without the eyes. Of course, you’ve got to wonder, What’s in it for the other scorpions? I guess everybody hears a different drummer, although it seems to me like there aren’t enough corners in this room. Maybe I need a new playbook? Overall, you’ve got to guesstimate what animals are thinking. Most are just a mix of random chemicals and stray electricity. You know, heads or tails, but it could be worse. It’s a shame about the baby ones, though. Hey, would you like to taste something really different? Try one of mine. The dipping sauce is my own recipe. No, go ahead. Take two. There’re plenty more where those came from.