Knowing all our names: the mur-
muration lifts, a cylinder of soot, a flow
of wings, white bellies, whiter than
Napatree dunes. No sound but a
squall flattens eelgrass to ground.
This living dream winks and blinks,
dives, flows past fear, moves closer
to the shore, measures the tidal
surge, the language of bayberries.
The swallows, polarized by light, by wind,
say come alone, come alive, come
pierce the waves of hard wax hearts.
A tumble down the stairs a gas mask
a zero-sum game a capstone a snowdrop
heartburn when I say prayers whiplash
when I donβt in my everyday dark night
sharks bit every breath each heartbeat
I was warned for decades but now it is my
turn to walk in strange plastic flippers
down the street crab apples in bloom
my bikini strap broken breasts
swiveling as I run from the life
I think I will never find again conversations
run by me like a river rushing words
bridge over me I take another breathe
through my snorkel drowning in all I
didnβt say all the love I swallowed
abandoned by the questions you did not
ask my face mask fogs up I trip over your body
toe-tagged pick up your urn smash
the gas station window grab the gas
pump nozzle unleash a forecourt
of flammable liquid take the match
you hand me to burn this whirlwind down
Evalyn Lee is a former Emmy Award winning CBS News producer living and writing in London. Over the years, she has produced television segments for 60 Minutes in New York and the BBC. It has been Evalyn’s honor to write for Dan Rather, Mike Wallace, and Lesley Stahl while covering a wide range of stories, including both Gulf Wars and numerous investigative pieces. She studied English literature both at Princeton University and New College, Oxford. Her essays, short stories and poems have been published in over 80 literary magazines and she is currently at work on her first poetry collection.Evalyn Lee is a former Emmy Award winning CBS News producer living and writing in London. Over the years, she has produced television segments for 60 Minutes in New York and the BBC. It has been Evalyn’s honor to write for Dan Rather, Mike Wallace, and Lesley Stahl while covering a wide range of stories, including both Gulf Wars and numerous investigative pieces. She studied English literature both at Princeton University and New College, Oxford. Her essays, short stories and poems have been published in over 80 literary magazines and she is currently at work on her first poetry collection.