She has cut her hair, like
and not like I did

to stand up
like a beam
to her full height
in new shoes printed with
galaxies
plugged into the world
winking
at the end of her charger
and what is left
shines
swept out of her clear eyes
not a shame, not a shrinking
a switch
that straight connected neck
a mast –

far below, dead ends on the floor
flicker with static.

Nothing is ever quite that colour.
Not ladybirds, not lipstick,
Not a single felt tip from the tipped-up box,
Not flags, or fish, or cherryade.
Not the flush of snowday cheeks, pinked
Blusher called geranium or the garnet on her knuckly finger.
Not blood, or oranges.

Her door would open and
The summer smell of the colour of geranium would reach for us.
Pots lined up along the skirting boards and crowded the
Crowded kitchen, colouring in every step and shelf,
Every sill and seat, every sister.

My garden fizzes with flagrant geraniums.
I bring them in from the snow, and keep my house warm,
And line up red lipsticks that are never, quite, that colour.

For us
These are key, bright kindnesses
Like teaspoons; Yellow-mittens on a sharp morning,
A warmer hand in the staff room,
Or at the vet’s once, with an empty cage.
These squeezes, first-flutter easy-
Peasy as please / thank you,

Like the brief and everywhere drizzle
Of lemon in that cake.

She has burned them all,
Her bridges and boats and before

She knows it

The wind changes
Catches her clean hair
Like a fuse, ready
To go. Ghosted.

Here, cold remains
Burn blue and slow
And low and
Out
there, the others
Are long gone. She faces the glare
Of their sails in the morning sun
With crucible eyes, with gold.

The tawny owl, amulet-eyed,
Peers amber, berry-black from the gold frame.

The little owl, silver-weighted, perches
Nested in bookspines, watches.

The lamp owl glowers, flower-shaded
From my landing table.

Light-blurred, for a moment,
After the funeral of the man who loved owls,
The barn owl flew softly alongside in the dark.